I love you, Houston

Inspiration during the tragedy, that’s what I found during Hurricane Harvey. This is not a political situation: this travesty isn’t for you to use for your political agenda on any side. There are black cops going and helping white children, black men in boats going into “redneck” areas saving people, mosques, and churches taking in those who need shelter, of all religions. White men carrying women of color and their extremely young children, black women helping white men, Asian men helping Hispanic women.

Houston is the most diverse city in America. More than Los Angeles, more than New York. Six and a half million people, just in the city, but do NOT forget about Rockport, Port A, Galveston, Corpus Christie, and their surrounding areas adding up to over 11 million people. They got the head of the category 4 hurricane, Houston gets the tropical storm and flooding. I have friends and classmates from on the coast who’s parents no longer have homes and roofs.

I must reiterate how this is not a travesty for political purposes. The Hurricane was NOT caused by a homophobic or racist God because Houston elected a lesbian woman for mayor and then a black man. It was not caused because Texas voted GOP in the 2016 election. It was not caused because Houston voted blue. This is not the time for you to say “I told you so” because this extreme weather is a possible outcome of climate change. This is not the time.

Houston is the greatest city in Texas, in America, in the world. The pride and support for our athletic teams, or celebrities like Beyoncé, and Texas, in general, is amazing. I will never be disappointed in the fact I was born and raised in Houston, Texas and my parents were the same. There is so much to be proud of here and now: Mattress Mac letting families into Gallery Furniture locations, the temples, mosques, and churches, big and small, opening their doors, heroes using resources they have and platforms to do amazing things. HEB and Buc-ee’s having disaster relief protocols and providing food and shelter. JJ Watt for raising over $5.5 million, the Astros, the Texans, Beyoncé, The Rockets, the Supernatural show cast and Random Acts, and so many more celebrities and everyday people donating what they can.

First responders, doctors and nurses, social workers and teachers, and so much more people with the ability to help others during this time. Police, EMTs, and firefighters have been constantly saving lives and staying up all hours to find and make people secure the best they can. Carrying grown people and children, people in wheelchairs on jet skis and doing whatever they can to ensure we survive.

It is so important to treat each other with respect during this time. I have so much love for the craziness that has ensued with guys on jet skis and wakeboarding and sharing tequila and beer. I am overwhelmed with feelings of people and places doing their part to make sure animals and pets are not forgotten and put in harm’s way. There is so much inspiration to be seen during this time that makes you want to help, to do ANYTHING. And I implore you to do something. Stay safe fellow Texans. I love you all.

That being said here are different links where you can donate 🙂

JJ Watt’s Houston Flood Relief Fund (over $6 MILLION raised so far) I donated here.

To give specifically to the Red Cross simply text REDCROSS to 90999 to give $10

Red Cross Disaster Relief

Help Feed the Children and Families

Houston Food Bank

Food Bank of Corpus Christi

Houston Humane Society to help out the animals

 

We are #HoustonStrong

 

Stay safe, Stay glowing,

♡Brit

Instagrams: brit.lavergne and brit.makeup

 

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Goodbye, High School.

Well, high school is done. I don’t know how to start this by not saying thank you to everyone that’s ever been there for me. Through my insane moods, that are not limited to crying, screaming, ridiculous comments, my “everyone-else-is-wrong” SJW phase, and every time I thought I fell in love. I made a lot of mistakes in high school and I’ll be the first to admit them and tell you my life story, but from all that happened, I learned what it means to grow up. Growing up means you understand the world around you, you know how to take care of yourself, you learn everything you possibly can, and you understand any type love can overcome all boundaries.

Yes, I am an adult, but I have not “grown-up”. I understand love and how to care for myself, but I’m not done learning. I’ll never be done learning. I’m a lifetime learner because of Cooper, and I am truly proud of that. Cooper gave me an atmosphere that, yes was stressful because exams exist and we can’t just take those away, (and I’m glad I was able to graduate before I only had two exams every final season) has truly prepared me for anything that comes my way. I’m ready for college exams, professors that don’t care if your dog is sick and you want to go home, or if you’re homesick or POTUS isn’t who you wanted it to be. I’m ready for exam, exam, exam, and exam with no break. But that is starting to change at my school and I’m glad I’m old enough to realize that that’s not exactly the best way to deal with stress in a high school environment. Not here to debate the pros and cons of final exams, but life is stressful. To be able to truly be successful in this truly competitive day in age, it has to be.

 

In lower school, I had the kindest teachers that taught me the basics, fundamentals, how to keep out of trouble, and prepared me for all the little things. In middle school, things got harder, definitely not academically but socially. Yes, there were some academic challenges, but finding my group of friends that actually cared about me and weren’t horrible, little children (who grew up to be okay) that took advantage of other people was really difficult. There is drama upon drama, and I got involved in it because of the “friends” I thought I found. I found my group of friends after I was cyberbullied, and even the group of friends I thought I found, were still a little awkward and some of them didn’t really like me. One of the girls always tried to diagnose me with different mental disorders and different ways I could “take care of myself better”. But as the group evolved I found a really good friend, a truly amazing person that I’m still in touch with the day even though she lives in Canada (yes, Lauren this is about you).

 

And now high school, the chapter of the book of my life I just finished. It started off interesting because I didn’t understand half my teachers because school is weird and lectures are now a thing and grades matter because transcripts exist. Freshman year was easy I guess, I kept bouncing around groups of friends, I didn’t really learn any life lessons that year, except it’s okay to ask parents for help. Sophomore year was a completely different story. I guess you could say it was like a stereotypical high school senior year with parties on weekends, talking to boys, and random encounters with human beings. But, I found my two best friends I still talk to daily, Ashley and Caroline, and began to understand that one of my friends who has been in my life since birth is one of my best friends, Lizzie. I also made an abundance of bad decisions that year that got me an in-school suspension, but I never had a pink slip. I so greatly disagree with the fact I got an in-school suspension, because I was sticking up for somebody, but not in the best way. But I learned that my mental health is something I need to take better care of, to keep better track of. Junior year was hard, academically, socially, just hard because I was ready to leave and one of my best friends was about to leave me after my other best friend left me the year before (yes Caroline and Ashley). I didn’t know what I was going t do without talking face-to-face every single day. I figured if I dove 100% into soccer, school, and yearbook, time will fly by.

 

Now the senior year, how the hell is that already over. It felt like it was taking an eternity during the school year, but now that it’s over I feel like I’m an eighth grader: so confused, really scared, but so ready to start this upcoming fall semester. I’m going to my dream school, I’ve got one hell of a scholarship, and I’m OK. Like truly OK. If you know me, you know I have body positivity issues, because of my size and ultimately my health, but I know this is something I can fix at college because it will be about what I want to do for myself, not if I want a date to prom or something trivial. This all seems like it’s been written before, that writing “how is high school over” and “these are some tips to get you through high school”. That’s not what I want to do here, so I’m gonna tell you some things about high school you may hear from other people, but I’m not quite sure.

 

  1. Freshman year doesn’t matter grades wise. Freshman year is the year to learn how to learn: how to take notes, study another language, how to annotate while reading in a way that is actually helpful, so later when the grades do count, you don’t have to figure out how to study then.
  2. No one is going to remember that bad hair day, or your facial acne because high schoolers are vain and selfish with every right to be within reason because nobody has time for vanity as an adult, and are too worried about what they look like.
  3. Also, if that guy or girl isn’t paying attention to you, getting a crazy makeover probably won’t change that – sorry. Sorry, people suck and some won’t like you. But if you wanna do it, bro/sis, GO BE YOU, hun. No one is going to remember your bomb ass makeup days (sadly) like your gross, week-into-dry-shampoo-only bad hair days.
  4. Screw the dress code some days. No one has time.
  5. Tons of people cheat in school. The people with great grades, the people with average grades (um hi me), and the people with bad grades. It happens, some people get caught, and some people don’t.
  6. The teacher may not like you because they can tell you don’t like them or you don’t even try at the class or pretend like you like it, but they’re NOT out to get you or giving you bad grades for no reason. You gotta work harder.
  7. You’re not entitled to awards. Stop it.
  8. Social justice and social liberalism are becoming more mainstream. Do not let censorship influence your education, I’ll settle for some in social interactions, but we have to learn the bad along with the good, Ying and Yang man.
  9. Everyone is scared about college and adulthood and grades. Tune out their anxieties and listen to yourself. You’ll get through it.
  10. Seriously listen to your parents sometimes. They love you, and they were teenagers too and went through the same, and most likely worst things in their lives, so trust them.

 

Okay so yes that last one is (hopefully) obvious and has been said before, but it’s necessary to rearticulate because my parents did so much for me during my time at school, from reading aloud books for me when I was too tired, checking papers, and holding my hand. I’m not really ready to let go completely because there is still so much I need help with and need to learn.

But I am ready to go into the world and go into university because of Cooper, because of the school I grew up with. Yet, the school is changing the things that have challenged me, that made me intelligent, that set me on a path where I am not scared of academic obstacles I am going to face. So to those at my school right now: take advantage of the challenges, of those things that stress you out, because that feeling of getting into your dream school is unparalleled. Trust me. If it gets too much, talk to your teachers, talk to your parents, talk to someone. It may take you a little longer to figure things out, but you will figure it out.

Thank you again for those who have been there. I love you dearly.

♡Brit

Instagrams: brit.lavergne and brit.makeup

Hawaii: My Happiest Place

        When most people think of Hawai’i they think of white sand beaches, surfing, luaus with beautiful hula girls, and pineapples. I think of three extremely loud and blonde children, along with their beautiful parents and grandmother. Yes, haoles (or white people) in Hawaii who go to school, work at the schools and pay all the taxes, live there full-time.

        My great-aunt/godmother, the kid’s tutu (grandmother) moved to the Big Island in 2007 for his job. They were each other’s best friend and he, my Uncle Dean, passed away in January 2009 after getting caught on his boat in a storm and saving three kayaker fishermen. She was on the boat and swears his spirit abled her to climb the 80 foot or so cliff as she was overweight at the time as the possibility of her doing it herself is extremely minimal. It is because of her that there is so much love in this family. From a scary first marriage, brain cancer, this mess, and so many more crazy adventures, this woman is one of the most interesting people I have met to this day. She works at one of the public elementary schools and the kids there absolutely adore her. She has two sons: Ben and Hugh. Ben married his high school sweetheart like my parents, and have three kids and have a farm in Kona with bunnies, goats, chickens, pigs, the whole nine yards. Hugh lives in Reno where most of his family lives and has a little girl. Juju (my great-aunt) as a little turtle tattoo for each of them on her ankle.  

This is just the beginning of the reasons I love Hawai’i, more specifically the Big Island and Kailua-Kona. I first visited Hawai’i in 2007, then 2012, 2013, 2015, 2016, and just wrapped up 2017. I don’t spend the entire time tanning or attempting to surf. I go to bed at 9:30 pm because of the time change, eat at Teshima’s, the best Japanese restaurant in the United States that was started by a woman who lived to be 106, some scuba diving, more eating, buying local, renting local houses not fancy ignorant-tourist packed hotels, learning the history, basically when in Rome. I’ve been to the luaus, seen the pig on an open flame, been to the top of Mauna Kea, chatted with the locals when they were protesting the building of the world’s largest telescope on actual sacred land, not some random rock or flower thanks. I’ve done scuba dives with the super endangered Hawaiian monk seal, reef sharks, sea turtles, yelled at tourists getting much less than 20 feet from a sea turtle, spinner dolphins, frog fish, picked trash off the bottom, just everything.

        In 2013, I was severely depressed when I went to Hawaii. It was the type where I felt fake and gross every step I took, tried to take selfies with my cousins, but ended up being the photographer rather than having any photos taken of me. One night we all went out to dinner and there were ten of us and my cousin Michelle started telling me how wonderful I am and how I’m such a fantastic role model and she hopes her girls grow up to be like me. I had to excuse myself to go cry. I did not want them to be like me. I wanted them to be better than me. These two girls and their little brother mean more to me than possibly anything in the world. I would seriously do anything for them. They make me feel like a goddess, loved unconditionally beyond comprehension, and so freaking happy whenever I am with them.

        Every trip has gotten better and better. We’ve gone with family friends and cousins and shown them what an amazing place it is, even when you’ve got some moths and geckos in your room constantly. We’ve seen manta rays performing that would put Cirque du Soleil out of business, lava flows, marine life, I cannot stress how much I love this place. I just wrapped up senior year spring break with the best people in my life in my favorite place for my mom’s birthday. We rented this stunning house where you can see whales off the coast, had a pizza that could barely fit in a Subaru, watched movies, ate macaroni salad, swam in the ocean with mantas rays, slept in the hammock, jammed on the ukulele, woke up at 1:15 to travel to the other side of the island to get on a boat at 5 am, and this all was within 24 hours. Here are some more pictures so you can maybe understand why this is the best place on earth.

        This trip was eventful from beginning to end. The first five minutes of getting to the house I twisted my ankle. The gate was locked and so I was walking around it through the plants and as a stepped on the slate edge, it broke and I went down. The last day we were on Ali’i Drive going through the market and one of the girls found a money clip on the ground and I tracked him down via Facebook, his company business card, it was a mess (she did end up getting $20 from him for finding it so thank you Doug from Nebraska). It was a lot.



So, this how my 11 days went on the Big Island:

Thursday: Houston – Denver – Kailua-Kona; 65-pound flower arrangement

Friday: Family swim day, a pizza that barely fit in a Subaru

Saturday: Sleeping and relaxing

Sunday: My cousins the Turner’s get to Kona, relaxing and eating

Monday: Target, beach, sea turtles

Tuesday: Green Sand Beach, dubbed “Keolani” by local guys, Black Sand Beach

Wednesday: Valley of the Kings

Thursday: Morning dive, night dive with manta rays

Friday: Woke up at 1:15 am, to drive to the other side of the island and get on a boat at 5 am. Saw the lava shooting out of the cliffs with a fire hydrant; Southern Most Bakery in the USA; ‘Akaka Falls; Luau that night with fire twirlers and hula

Saturday: Family over again for swimming and my cousin Ben performed acupuncture on Duncan

Sunday: Went to my cousin’s house after packing up and saved a chicken from a part Rottweiler dog by throwing guavas at him; went to the street market; my cousin found a guy’s money clip on the ground and it took us about 2 hours to find him and give it back; left that night

Monday: Landed in Denver around 6:30 am, and home around 11:45 am

Hope you at least enjoyed the pictures and the links. Hawaii is my second home with so much more to offer than we give it credit for in tourism.

Aloha wau iā ʻoe

♡ Brit

instagram: brit.lavergne and brit.makeup

Makeup as an Art Form

Makeup has definitely been given a bad reputation. Guys calling it deceitful and lying, saying that’s why they don’t trust girls, even give nicknames like cakeface and clown girl. Of course there can be some bad makeup mess ups like when you don’t blend it down your neck or having sperm eyebrows. But all in all, makeup is just makeup and it comes off at the end of the day. My favorite quote about makeup is by a male makeup artist named Patrick Starrr: “Makeup is one size fits all”. And it truly is.

My mom dropped out of Texas A&M and went to cosmetology school and had some of the best life experiences. She went to work in downtown Houston and worked with famous hairdressers and worked on wives, mothers, and sisters of famous people. One of her favorites was Patrick Swayze’s sister. She was invited to attend classes in Indianapolis to learn directly from the founder of Aveda, which we still use religiously today. One time she took classes in Chicago and had the privilege of hearing Maya Angelou speak and even got to speak with here one on one. Makeup and and all forms beauty has always been a huge part of my life.

I always played with her makeup and kids makeup, wearing hot pink lipgloss and blue eyeshadow. Then I got better as my mother taught me how to put on my show and dance makeup, like that red lipstick and that gross top coating. I remember putting makeup on Barbie dolls after removing all their clothes and wandering through the beauty sections with my mom at Walgreens or CVS. I danced to RuPaul and watched his videos, utterly amazed at how fabulous he looked.

My freshmen year I was in a dark place after soccer season. The lack of daily exercise ceases my endorphin levels and a myriad of other issues took over while I was clothes shopping with my mom. I just sort of broke down in the middle of Macy’s or something and my mom took my back to the car. We agreed I needed to go back to therapy just to talk everything out with her. Then she said “yell this. Fuck it.” I had to whisper it a couple times before I was able to yell it and we went back inside. She took my to the Chanel booth and paid for me to get an entire makeover and purchased everything they used on me: I had never felt so beautiful and grownup before that moment. This is when my collection started.

My bathroom counter started with this little thing that held all my Chanel products and then the Naked3 palette, and more brushed until I had to upgrade my organizer station. The more money I got, the more makeup I bought. I became a VIB Rouge holder in less than 3 months, and I do not regret it. Most everyone at Sephora recognizes me and knows I love Tarte, Benefit, Anastasia Beverly Hills, Clinique and a few others. I consider makeup to be an artform. If you have ever looked up NikkieTutorials, do it now. She is such an inspiration for me, as a big girl, even one of my best friends Keelie has told me that NikkieTutorials reminds her of me, which is one of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received.

I’m not talented. I can’t play an instrument, craft beautiful statues, sing, dance, paint, draw, do gymnastics, score from half field, swim a mile in 15 minutes or whatever time is really good. Yet, I can beat a face, blend eyeshadows, give myself flawless wings, and apply falsies in seconds. Over time, with a lot of trial and error, I’ve been able to use it as an artform by constructing different looks for anything I want. This past year in English we read Dante’s Inferno and were given a project to do of anything we wanted that reflected what we learned about the Inferno. I did makeup. Nine completely makeup looks for each circle of Hell, and it took weeks. It ended up being worth it because I had stuff to post on my instagram (brit.makeup) and got an A+.

Makeup as given me the confidence needed to get through some of the hardest times these past years. The praise and compliments I have received from friends, family, and even famous makeup artists and companies like Jeffree Star and Benefit Cosmetics. It’s given me a tangible talent. Makeup has been a relaxation technique and something to clear my mind. I’ve been able to appreciate it as not just as something that “covers up flaws”  but as an art form that you can do whatever you want with it, because it washes off at the end of the day.

glasses

Love you all,

♡Brit

instagram: brit.lavergne and brit.makeup

Thirteen Things I’ve Learned

13 things I learned during 13 years of school (at John Cooper especially):

  1. Do, what you want to do, even if you are afraid that you’ll fail to do it. Or if you are afraid of what other people might say. Believe me, nothing will matter after some time except the fact that despite all obstacles, with shaking voice and sweating palms you’ve done it.
  2. Learn to like your own company. Don’t be with people just for sake of being with people or for not looking like a loser. Don’t subject yourself to hanging out with people you hate or don’t like you just because you want to be seen. Learn to be comfortable with yourself and you’ll never going to feel alone.
  3. Buy a water bottle. Whenever you sit down, always take it out, even if you don’t feel thirsty. You’ll drink more water, when you’ll constantly see the bottle in front of your eyes. I always have my Yeti with me and everyone knows it’s mine.
  4. Always carry with yourself: a water bottle, some wet wipes, a mini first aid kit (containing some medical plasters, cotton buds, medicine, etc.), some makeup (if you use it), USB flash drive, earphones, a phone, a phone charger, a wallet.
  5. FAIL, FAIL and FAIL once more. Especially, if you’re in earlier years, when grades don’t matter that much. Want it or not, sometime in your life you are going to fail and if you haven’t failed before you won’t realize that failure is not such a bad thing and that you can (and will) recover from it.
  6. Do things anyway. Feel anxious? Think that you are not capable of doing something? Do it anyway. Because something unknown always seems a lot more dangerous and scary than it really is. Believe me on this one. You will realize how many chances you’ve lost because of your fear when it’ll be too late to change something. Nothing is as scary as it seems.
  7. Try as many new and different things as possible. Enroll into the guitar or the piano lessons. Learn a new language on Duolingo. Take an art. Play another sport. Learn to use Photoshop, InDesign or another program. Try as much online courses as possible… You can always quit things, if you don’t like them, anyway.
  8. Don’t do things that you really really do not like. Even if they might be beneficial to yourself in the future. For instance, if you hate Russian language, don’t study it. Even if knowing Russian will help you to easier find a job in the future. Same goes for most school subjects. One way or another you’ll figure things out. Life is too short to waste it on doing thing you don’t like. But there are somethings you just have to do. You have to go to school and study. You have to take those classes you hate. Just find a way to get through it.
  9. Explore the world. Travel. Can’t travel? Watch documentaries about different parts of Earth. Find a penpal from another country or just start a chat with someone on tumblr. This way, you’ll learn so much more than it is taught in schools.
  10. School can be and is hard. A lot of times it can make you forget things that truly matter to you in order to fit in. For this, buy a small notebook and in it write all your goals, beliefs, things you want to achieve, etc. Take it everywhere with yourself. Read it every time you’re in doubt or unsure of yourself…
  11. Try to make friends with everyone, despite their “social status”. But don’t put up with toxic people. Don’t please others, even if that means standing alone. All the time try to be yourself.
  12. Understand that everyone around you is in the same place you are. If you’re a freshman, know that everyone in your class is just as freaked out by grades as you are. If you’re a senior, everyone is stressed about college and the “real world” just like you. And once you just admit that, other people will, and you won’t feel so alone.
  13. Dream big, think hard, engage deeply. Reach beyond your limits. Read philosophy, learn astronomy, quantum physics. Look at the stars every night. Ask yourself hard questions: what’s the meaning of life, why we’re here, are we alone in the universe, etc?.. Even if you won’t get answers. What matters the most, is the questions you ask.

My senior year has been pretty amazing. Some classes are better than others, some friends are greater than others, and we just try to bond over how much stress sucks. I drink a lot of Starbucks, I put on a bright highlight, and do what I do best: tell it like it is. My high school soccer coach for the last 5 years (yes in 8th grade me and a few friends played in high school) never sugar coated anything, and she’s my favorite. I don’t try and fit into anything. I tell ignorant people they’re ignorant, I bathe you in compliments, I buy my friends presents for no reason, and I make people laugh.

This guy said the other day to me “Brittany LaVergne, you’re always on point. Like straight up just real as fuck.”  And that’s what I want to be. Just knowing I’ve survived the worst days of my life and I have so sort of direction in life, even if it’s just making sure I get up in the mornings and brush my teeth, that’s all you need.

Good night, ♡Brit

instagram: brit.lavergne and brit.makeup

What is self love really?

So the past month has been extremely busy and stressful. Soccer started and it has been a struggle to push myself in keeping up with everyone else and making myself finish the complete field length sprints with everyone else, even though half of us are crying and a few of us are two sprints from throwing up. School has been another story. I had this crazy English project that I may have spent more time than necessary on to make it absolutely perfect, and I kinda just stopped doing my math homework because I was so exhausted from soccer, I never went to my tutor. But this little epic journey of self love hasn’t been halted.

I’ve been going through my tumblr and making documents and updating ones to post on here so I’ll have more things to immediately post. Finding photos, lists, websites and videos that helped me through losing best friends and family.

Why is the Baylor University campus the featured image of this post? Well, getting into the college I’ve been striving for since I was 4 has been my biggest push to achieve a sense of self love. I want to go off to college with love in my heart to spread and keep myself from being knocked down. It stands as a pillar, as a reminder, that I can achieve my biggest dreams when I push my boundaries and challenge those already in place.

Anyways, this list is going to be extremely important to me over the next couple weeks because the yea anniversary of one of my friends death by suicide is coming up on December 5. I’ve been thinking about what I want to do or who I want to see, but I really just don’t know. So for all those struggling, I came up with some simple, or maybe challenging ways you can find self love within and what self love really means for me.

  1. Self Love means choosing myself, my wellbeing, my physical, emotional, and mental health over others. Being selfish is not always a bad things. You may not be liked by everyone or be super popular, but you are so much more than those little things.
  2. Being kind to our body by letting ourselves rest.
  3. Wear clothes that make you feel good instead of what you “should wear” for your body shape. Stay comfortable by shedding layers in the summer and bundle in the winter.
  4. Accepting ourselves with the good, the bad, the ugly, the sexy, and the smelly—all of it. Embrace yourself as a human being.
  5. Making time to do whatever you love, just to play, without worrying about wasting time. Especially when life if so stressful, sometimes you need a break.
  6. Owning our inner and outer beauty and complimenting ourselves without feeling guilty, arrogant, or entitled. Makeup is one of my favorite forms of art, expression, hobby, and just plain fun that can result in confidence.
  7. Not rehashing our past mistakes and dragging ourselves to a dark place when we know that we can only learn from the past; we can’t change it.
  8. Spending some quality, personal time with ourselves instead of always watching TV or wasting time on the Internet. Try meditation, counting breaths (or other Buddhist techniques quieting techniques), or simple journaling.
  9. Take a day or a weekend just to blast music and clean your room or living space. I myself cannot live in chaos, and my mother has told me this hundreds of times. When my room is a mess, I’m a mess because of unnecessary stress caused from it.
  10. Using discretion when sharing our heart, self, and dreams with others. This doesn’t mean “keep it all bottled up”, absolutely not. Just know who those few people are who understand you and don’t judge you.
  11. Trusting the path that your soul is on and making a genuine effort to become a conscious co-creator of your own destiny.
  12. Following what your gut/intuition says instead of living out of your brain and ego, even emotionally. Short term problems can and should not be solved with long term, unchangeable actions.
  13. Staying true to your integrity, both when it comes to yourself and when interacting with others out in the world. This includes keeping yourself in check regarding patterns such as lying, manipulating, co-depending, withholding, and pretending.
  14. Allow yourself to dream big, without contaminating these dreams with judgments, your perceived limitations, or a lack of sense of deserving.
  15. Knowing how you’re spending your emotional, mental, financial, and physical energy, and whether these activities bring back joy, connection, nurturing, rest, and creativity to your life.
  16. Taking responsibility for all of your experiences. Knowing that you have the ability for deeper self awareness and access to your intuition when it comes to making life choices.
  17. Not labeling yourself with others’ opinions of you, while having the courage to look inside to see if there might be some truth to them.
  18. Learning to set boundaries that protect and nurture your relationships, with yourself and others.
  19. Allowing yourself to make mistakes and not berating yourself for making them. Instead, choosing to appreciate your desire to learn and grow.
  20. Refusing to seek permission or approval to be yourself. Recognizing that you, like everyone else, deserve to take up space on this planet just as who you are right now.

And lastly self love is…

Loving and accepting yourself even when you fail miserably at some of these self-love goals.
Good night, ♡Brit

instagram: brit.lavergne and brit.makeup

 

Beginning Self Love

My name is Brittany and I’m from suburban Houston. I’m a senior in high school and I will be going to Baylor University in Fall 2017. My life has been filled with ups and downs like anyone else’s, but handling it for me has always been the hardest.

I started going to therapy with I was in 4th grade after my friends mom died and I started having crazy recurring nightmares about my parents. I soon grew out of that and stopped going to therapy. Middle School hit me like a ton of bricks with the usual fake friends, social awkwardness and growing self-hatred. I don’t remember most of 6th grade just that I really hated my math class and I was WAY overdressed for the first social/dance thing. Seventh grade is where all the trouble began. I had this group of friends that had all the really hot girls in it and none of us really liked each other. We all started fighting each other and then I just remember everything falling apart. I started feeling worse and worse about myself when I saw myself in pictures.

Eighth grade I wanted to completely start over and had a group of friends that started with a girl I remembered from competitive soccer and a few new girls to the school. Soon I noticed how there were five of us and at lunch they would kind of breakup in pairs and talk to each other and I’d sort of interject myself into conversations. Not having any friends made throw myself into school, choir, and soccer. I wasn’t in any lead in the musical, but I had a ton of fun, and I also was on high school junior varsity soccer team. Everything kind of gets mixed here because this is when I started hurting myself. It kind of went down into a spiral where everything is dark when I think about it. Some of the places where I hurt myself were on my upper thighs because during the winter no one would see there. Then just one hot Houston day in January I was loving on my dogs on the couch, wearing shorts, and my mother freaks out about the scars on my leg. I start trying to come up with something, an excuse, but I couldn’t and just started crying. After a long talk and lots of tears I started going back to therapy. I soon started on an anti-depressant and it started getting a little better but a lot of my self-hatred came from my body image.

I’ve done cross fit and went on a 28 day challenge , I’ve gone to a nutritionist and ate all this natural food to “clean up my gut” and it worked only while I was on it, I worked out and ate well and a lot less, and then school started and I lost it all (or gained it all back). So the only thing that I can hope for now is that after soccer I am going to work hard to break the circle and get my life back.

I’ve always been overweight for as long as a can remember and most of that is in my genes. Depression is in my genes as well but it’s on my mom’s side of the family. I have been stuck in this circle where I tell myself excuses over and over again to justify me for not doing what I need to be doing.

Every year it is the same thing for me: I promise I’ll work out and lose weight, I lose some, and then I go through a rough patch that makes everything worse. But finally I have decided that I need to stay positive with my life, so I began this blog. This is the beginning of my journey.

Good night♡

Brittany

instagram: brit.lavergne and brit.makeup